Saturday, May 9, 2009

can you blame me? {reposted}

Isaac stayed home sick today, which always throws off my routine a bit. Can't really go out for my walk . . . and Zac accidentally brought both sets of keys with him to work, so I couldn't have taken the little ones to the Children's Garden as I had thought I might. And so instead of doing the million things I should have been doing this morning, I spent (wasted) too much time browsing house listings in a particular place on the east coast, with houses like this:

and back yards like this:

priced far more reasonably than comparable homes where I now live. (pictures taken from actual house listings)

Can you really blame me??

Can I even tell you what happens to me when I see places like this??

I think it started with our trip to SC and my heart fluttered as we drove down highways lined with green, green trees . . . trees so thick that you can't see any of the houses or stores from the road. And then several neighbors and friends are moving and I feel sharp pangs of jealousy - not because of where or why they are moving, but merely because they get to. That's not right, is it?
And then my brother and his wife are moving to a different state, too.

Those who know me well know that I have been longing to move somewhere greener for at least a few years now. I get the urge to look and dream, and then I give up and resign myself to staying. And I know, I know, I should be happy where I am, bloom where I'm planted, etc etc. But for 7 years, Seven Years, I have struggled to "bloom" here and I just can't help but think maybe I am a plant that needs more rain. Literally. Does anyone but me feel like they are truly happier in different climates, locations, environments? Is this just crazy??

Anyway - I know that we do live in great neighborhood. I feel like I do have some friends, although it has taken me 7 years to feel that way. Our house is comfortable. Zac's job is hard to beat. Schools are good. We are happy.

Don't get me wrong, we are happy.
But I just think that if merely looking at houses with yards filled with trees on half-acre lots brings me to tears and makes me miss it so badly that my insides hurt - there must be something to that, isn't there? I know that the grass always seem greener on the other side - but, really and truly, the world is a greener place in other places and I just want to be there instead of here. Is that wrong?

So anyway - just wanted to purge my thoughts on that matter. Pay me no attention. We have no definite plans of moving anytime soon, believe me (just don't ask me how I feel about that).

In other news, we've been working on some things with Elisabeth. First, getting her to go to sleep without us staying in her room with her. I know some of you are just tsk-tsk-ing for getting into such an abominable habit in the first place. But, oh well. We are now at the point where one of us sits outside her door and reassures her that we are there and then she'll to sleep. Pretty soon, I think, we will progress from that step, as well. We are also working on potty-training, sort of. If I leave her behind naked, then she is likely to remember and go potty by herself. But if she is weaing anything, diaper, pull-up, underwear, then it's like she's never used the potty before in her life. Why she doesn't seem to "get it" is beyond me. And, as I cannot let her stay naked all the time, it's a bit frustrating. But with the temps reaching high-80's today, I have her in a sundress with nothing underneath so that at least when she's playing outside, maybe no one will notice that she has a naked bum.

And, PS, thanks for all your responses to my previous questions. You all get 10 bonus points for participating!! yippee! (although I must admit I was just a tad disappointed that no one said they would just follow their intuition and move someplace else where they think they'd be happier - but what you did say was all too true. I know, I know. sigh.)
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