letting go (and pics from yesterday)

So, it has been interesting to me this year to step back and evaluate where all my desires are coming from, what my expectations are and why, and what things are really "musts" in my mind as far as Christmas to-dos and which things can be let go. And then, as the weeks have flown by even faster than I thought possible, I have eliminated even more from my "shoulds" and "coulds."

There is so much good. So many great things to do, memories to create for my children, bonding family time, things to see and cherish and wonder. And this time of year, we want to serve and show love to others, especially those closest to us. We want to do so much. I want to do so much.

But I can't.

I know "simplifying" is very catchy and popular these days. But it's hard for me sometimes to let go of things that I really do want. Things I want for me and my family, for my kids. Experiences I want them to have, things I want them to feel in all of this doing.

But I have had to remind myself lately that this year just might not be the most stellar year in our family history of Christmas fun. And that's ok. It will be ok. It might even be better than ok.

I am trying to silence the voices in my head that remind me of all the things we've done in the past that we're not doing this year. I can't even delineate all the reasons why. It just is. And I am trying to let go of some of the expectations I have had.

Here are just a few:

1. we are not driving to Salt Lake to look at the lights at Temple Square

2. we are not going to Gardner's Village to see the cute elves
3. we're not sending Christmas cards (although I bought them and fully intended to) - or a family newsletter - or pictures

4. we're not doing a Christmas scripture and song program at home

5. we may or may not make cookies and/or deliver them to friends

6. we didn't hang up lights outside our house

7. I didn't even rearrange the decorations where I would normally put them (they sit wherever whoever took them out put them)

8. we didn't order my German food for our new traditional Christmas dinner

What are you letting go of this year??

Edit: In the time since I wrote this post last night, I've come down with the sickness that Nathan has had for the last 5 days or so. chills, aches, headache, congestion etc. Zac also started feeling sick last night. So, it appears I need to readjust my expectations even further. Still on my "must" list was cleaning the house (because it drives me crazy having holidays in a mess), going grocery shopping, getting Nathan's haircut, and last minute wrapping and stockings.

I'm not even sure now what will actually get done . . .

can we maybe just skip Christmas this year?