Friday, July 16, 2010

Flashback Friday: Journals #18-27

(first, a note about the pics. I'm including photos at the request of my dear littlest sister. But my scanner is kaput so I am having to take pictures of the pictures which doesn't always work very well. And my old photos are just loose in a box so I basically just grab a few and see what I get, with no real purpose or thought. Just so you know.)

This first one is from about 1988 or 89 - around 8th grade-ish, I think.

This is Feb 1991 when my cute little niece Chelsea was born!! (10th grade)

Big parade at the end of the Gulf War, also in 1991. We can call this the "year of the headband" as you might notice I have a headband on in all 3 pics from this time period. And, I find it humorous that I am standing in the exact same stance in these last 2 photos. I must have stood that way a lot, I guess. hahaha.

Summer 1991 - after 10th grade

Anyway - this week's journal reading brought me through the end of 9th grade and into 11th grade. Here are a couple entries that make me laugh:

May 1990
"4:50 pm Good Afternoon, my love. Would you like to hear all the horrendous events of my day?
With all my positives and negatives, today turned out to be a -25.
1. jabbed my toothbrush into my bottom gum (-5)
2. missed the bus (-3)
3. had to go practice small ensemble (orchestra) (-1)
4. watched movie in German class (+1)
5. sang in gym class (+3)
6. watched movie in English class (+1)
7. small ensemble in orchestra (-2)
8. ___ and ____ stayed through lunch (-1)
9. oral report - bell rang - rushing - everyone waiting for me to finish (-10)
10. dissected a pig (-8)
So yes, some minorly good things happened but overall today was a crappy day."

August 1990

"I just can't get over the bracelet bit [a guy had given me a bracelet out of the blue] . . . So here are my options:

#1 Wear the bracelet

and here are the consequences (one, all, none, or many could occur)

a. He would notice and conclude that I was wearing it to express to him that I liked it a lot.

b. he would think I liked him a lot for giving it to me

c. he wouldn't notice

d. he would notice but not care

e. I would receive many comments such as "I see you're wearing his bracelet!" spoken with that "special" tone of voice by those who know the story

f. I would be complimented on my lovely bracelet.

Option #2 Not wear the bracelet


a. he would notice and conclude that it meant nothing to me that he gave it to me

b. he'd think I just didn't like it

c. he'd think I didn't like him

d. he wouldn't notice

e. he would notice but not care

f. someone would "thinks to himself" that I should have worn it at least to be polite

So there you go. You may be wondering to yourself why the subject of whether or not to wear a bracelet is so terribly mind-wrenching to me and in answer to your question, I don't have an answer!"

So. My oh my. And if you happen to have been in any way involved or connected to this particular bracelet incident (as I have a feeling some of you may be), then please just laugh. Just laugh. And I know some of you may wonder what became of this dilemma and . . . did I wear the bracelet? And I can't even remember. Whatever the dreaded consequences may have been after all my agonized decision making, apparently it wasn't dramatic enough to write about. haha.

So, I was a silly girl who over-thought, over-analyzed, over-felt everything. And during this time, I think I let go of some great friendships in pursuits of some silly boys who really didn't care. Sigh. Could I have even done otherwise if someone had pointed out to me the folly of my ways? Somehow I doubt it. I could not have been other than I was. It will be difficult to watch my kids go through some of this stuff and sit back and allow them the freedom to make their own choices and learn from them. I guess the lesson I have learned the most in my recent reading is just that we all have our own story, we all make our way the best we can, and learn lessons we need to grow from. And while I often thought that home, family and marriage would be the "happily ever after" I yearned for, the story doesn't actually end. I am still struggling and striving and slipping just like I did then. And that's ok.

I'll just leave you with this quote that sums up this week's flashback:

"I am sixteen, going on seventeen,

I know that I'm naive

Fellows I meet

will tell me I'm sweet

and willingly, I believe."

(from The Sound of Music, of course, quoted in my lovely journal at age 16)

Too true, too true. :)


Amy said...

I'm so with you--I wished that I had spent less time focused on boys in high school and more time with my friends. I hope to keep Maggie from making the same error, but then again, so did my parents!

Love the Marriott quote on Facebook today. I still have that poem you wrote about it. :)

The Mel B said...

Wow, I look so thrilled in all of those photos! Must be someone else in that first one, I don't smile.

Kristen said...

haha Melissa. :) Yes you and Devin both look thrilled.

Colleen said...

Ha ha, I love how all those dramas seem so important at the time and then you can't even remember them years later. I was reading my old high school journal recently and there were guys I didn't even remember having crushes on! I suppose it doesn't help that I had a crush on pretty much every guy in my class at one time or another. :)

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