It seems to be that time of year again.
No, not new year's resolutions.
It is the time of year when I start agonizing and worrying and wondering and stressing out over where Samuel will be going to school next year.
For those that may not know, my 2 older kids go to a rather "academically challenging" charter school. Class sizes capped at 25 students. Some advantages in many ways. But no self-contained special needs classes. They can only offer specialized "support."
Samuel is at the public school right now in a small group Special Needs Kindergarten class (about 6 kids) because we felt like he couldn't handle being in a regular classroom yet. He kind of shuts down in larger groups. We tried having him go to the mainstream class for just 15 min. of morning circle time for a month or so, but his teacher recommended that he's not quite ready for it yet and would benefit more from participating in the small group circle time where he is gaining confidence and starting to participate more.
So. We have tossed around the idea of having him redo kindergarten in a regular classroom next year, having another year of maturity and speech therapy under his belt. And that could be either at the charter school or the public school. Or he may (????) be ready for a regular 1st grade class, again either at the charter school or public school. But the charter school does a lottery to fill their available spots for students - and this is in FEBRUARY. Which means we need to know by then whether or not we want him to have a spot. And we need to know which grade.
So I'd like to get Samuel's teacher's opinion of where she thinks he would be best placed for next year. But. They tell me they don't make formal placement decisions until around May. So they can only give an unofficial preliminary opinion, and rather reluctantly at that. So frustrating.
Because if she thinks he should be either in a regular kindergarten or 1st grade class, then I feel like he might as well be at the charter school with his siblings. If for some reason, he is going to be in a self-contained class or getting more involved help at the public school, then that would be the best place. grrrrrr. . . . . decisions, decisions.
I am not even sure what the possible options might be. Hopefully the teacher will at least be able to clarify that for me this week when we meet together.
I think there is:
1. an autism class (where he doesn't fit)
2. a learning disabled class (not exactly fit)
3. emotional/behavior issue class (not exactly fit)
It seems we are caught again in this quagmire of feeling like there isn't anywhere that is "best" - he doesn't really fit in any of the options. So we just have to weigh it out and pick the "least bad." Ugh. And I don't think homeschooling would be the best option either, because he really needs specialized help that I am not qualified to provide for him. And besides, I really need a break from his needs sometimes, honestly. He really needs to learn to be with other kids, too.
So anyway - that's on my mind. I am also still struggling somewhat to get my mind to come back to earth from all that crazy "flashbacking." I know it seems unbelievably silly. But the back of my mind is still spinning back in 1990 somewhere (give or take a few years). I'm feeling very distracted and fluffy-brained. So if any of you should feel like slapping my face and telling me "snap out of it," I just might appreciate it. I could really use my brain again, should anyone happen to find it hiding from me somewhere. Thanks a bunch . . .