It's been on my mind for awhile now.
And as much as it pertains to raising a little boy with some "special needs" of various kinds, it also pertains to myself and my own limitations and challenges, which I sometimes allude to. So this might be a little confusing as I jump back and forth and talk about a lot of different things without actually telling you much of anything in the way of details. Sorry. I just wish I could figure it out.
The question is this:
when do you accept your own limitations and when do you make yourself stretch?
when is backing off and saying "I can't" the only sensible smart thing to do and when is it just making excuses?
when do you accept that your child has differences and will not be a certain way - and when are you just using this kind of thinking as a crutch?
Have you ever dealt with a situation like that? What do you do?
I can certainly see and agree that we want ourselves and our kids to reach their full potential - we want to improve and learn in all areas of life - and we want to know that we are capable of doing "hard things." If a person has a disability, we want them to learn how to do everything everyone else does. We want them to be seen as "normal" as much as possible.
Just as an example: let's say you have a child born blind. 100% blind. Of course you do all you can to help them learn to get around without being able to see. You want them to know that this doesn't have to be a limitation in terms of what they can do in life. There are accomodations. There are modifications to activities. There is help.
But the fact remains, doesn't it? That your child cannot see. Nothing changes that. At some point you have to accept this. You mourn all that this child will never see, never really appreciate, will never really do, will never be like everyone else.
So then. When I look at my own challenges and those of my kids - I always have to wonder. Am I asking them - am I asking myself - to just stretch and grow? Or am I asking them to do something they simply cannot do? Which parts am I using as a crutch, to keep on going as I'm used to doing and not have to change what could be changed? And which parts are the reality of what is? That sometimes it's just the best we can do.
Because try as we might to insist otherwise, asking a blind child to look and see is just setting everyone up for frustration and failure. Isn't it?
What do you think?!?