A couple weeks ago Zac and I got to go on a real "date" (which I'll write about sometime) and while we were out and about, I picked up my ring from the jeweler. I finally got it sized so I can actually wear it!
The original size of the bands haven't fit me since sometime during my pregnancy with Abigail when I retained a ton of water and swelled up like a beachball. Yeah, she is almost 12. And I never did ever get back to my pre-pregnancy size in anything (not even my feet). Then I re sized the diamond ring sometime, ohh I don't know, it was either before or after my pregnancy with Samuel. But it's been somewhere around 6 years or so since I could wear that either.
I just hated this rather expensive and very tangible reminder of how much weight I've gained since being the petite little thing I was when I got engaged at 22. I didn't want to have to know how much bigger my fingers really were. And I didn't want to admit that I will most likely never be that skinny again. It felt like failure. Ugh. So I just didn't do anything about it.
But, you know. Being a married woman and all, and carrying around this gaggle of wee ones, sometimes it's nice to clearly signal to all the world that I am indeed married. And I've missed my pretty ring.
Zac picked it out all by himself. Well, with the help of 2 of his roommates who had known me since our freshman days and also knew me pretty well. And they all 3 agreed on this ring for me. I thought it was sweet, thinking of Zac talking it over with these other 2 guys, deliberating, deciding if they thought I would like it, if it "fit" me, if this was The Kristen Ring. I loved being completely surprised by it.
Anyway, so I've occasionally worn an old simple band of Zac's mother's (then I outgrew it). And I bought a $20 band from Walmart one day in desperation to have something on my finger when we went on a trip or something. And my mom gave me another little band she found once on a beach or something. But . . . nothing ever replaced my real ring (quite obviously).
So, coming home from the jeweler's the other day, I felt like I was a newlywed again, or newly engaged. I just couldn't stop looking at this pretty shiny thing on my finger. It felt new all over again.
And so, even though as I posed and tried to take a picture of the ring on my finger I was shocked by how much older my hands look than I ever realized (when did that happen?!), in some ways I feel young again. I feel a little like waving my hand around and hoping someone will notice this "new" addition on my finger, it feels like announcing again that, Look! I have a ring! Look, I'm married! Look, everyone, look! I am loved. :)