Thursday, June 3, 2010

paranoid much?

We who are

your closest friends

feel the time

has come to tell you

that every Thursday

we have been meeting,

as a group,

to devise ways

to keep you

in perpetual uncertainty


discontent and


by neither loving you

as much as you want

nor cutting you adrift.

Your analyst is

in on it,

plus your boyfriend

and your ex-husband;

and we have pledged

to disappoint you

as long as you need us.

In announcing our


we realize we have

placed in your hands

a possible antidote

against uncertainty

indeed against ourselves.

But since our Thursday nights

have brought us

to a community

of purpose

rare in itself

with you as

the natural center,

we feel hopeful you

will continue to make unreasonable

demands for affection

if not as a consequence

of your disastrous personality

then for the good of the collective.

- Phillip Lopate,

quoted by Anne Lamott in Bird By Bird

ok, don't ask me why, but I thought this was hilarious.

Maybe you did, too . . . ?

And PS - please just go ahead and disband the Thursday meetings - 'kthanksalot. :)

1 comment:

Colleen said...

Ha! Great title. That is pretty funny. I'll admit I've actually gone through paranoid phases (like the first two years we lived here!), thinking that everyone hates me. Glad those days are behind me. Hopefully. :)

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