I've sort of had a long-term goal of rereading all the 50+ journals I've kept since I was about 10. I just have a twisted hope that doing this might help me gain some insight into myself, put things in perspective, and provide some laughs perhaps.
I've often browsed through pages here and there for fun, but haven't ever read them all straight through. So I thought summer might be a good time to get started. And I thought I might share some snippets here and there from what I've read recently. I do this somewhat reluctantly since there are some people reading this who may have been involved in some of the drama in my life at the time . . . yes, all the way back in 4th grade. But. I will do my best to keep identities concealed and only disclose information and journal entries that I think are humorous or insightful. My intent is not to embarass anyone (except myself) or to drag reluctant skeletons from anyone's closets (but my own). If you feel that you don't want to find yourself unwillingly quoted or mentioned, email me and I'll be more cautious. ;)
So.
Here's one from Feb 1988 when I was 13:
"Last time I wrote I liked R, right? Well, he's a total idiot. I have never met anyone meaner in my life, so I hate his guts at the moment but, right now I like this guy at church. I don't know his name, but I'm determined to find it out. He's really cute and only one year older than me and I think he likes me! So, I've almost got it made! But, not quite. Next week, I'll have more on that."
Um, yeah . . . not knowing his name just might be an indication that you don't quite "have it made" (whatever that was supposed to mean). haha.
And it makes me laugh how many entries from middle school revolve around this same theme "I used to like this boy, but now I like this boy, but he likes so-and-so, and so-and-so likes so-and-so" and on and on and on.
Has anyone else reread old journals? Found anything interesting or useful? Is it worth rereading or better left alone? Burned? Am I old enough now to revisit all this stuff without being mortified? Does that point ever really come? It's amazing sometimes how much it all still feels so much a part of me. So much just engrained deep inside me. Never forgotten. I guess that's part of my motivation. I want to dig it all up, look at it again, up close and personal, and make myself laugh at it.
Anyway. We'll see how long this lasts. :)
2 comments:
That sounds exactly like me. It's amazing that we can shift our affection so quickly. I love reading my old journals. I still feel embarrassed when I read stuff. I'm amazed when I read something that I have no memory of doing or saying. I do laugh a lot at it all though. I think it helps me really remember and understand more my own kids and what they might be feeling. Totally worth it. Have fun.
I love reading my old journals. It is crazy at times, but also there are things that I would have never remembered had I not written them down. P.S. We are planning our very own stay-cation this week thanks to your fabulous idea! I am super excited!
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