This one's in VA, out in Culpeper somewhere, actually. (Look! Trees!!!!)
I feel a little silly divulging my secret lusts (I'm sure some of you would look at it and think it outrageously extravagent, others might see it and think "so what? what's so special about it?"), but . . . oh well.
It's just my dream. I can do it however I please.
And I don't even know for sure what it is. Just like when you see someone you're attracted to - and you can't pinpoint what exactly attracts you. And why one person seems "your type" and another just really doesn't.
I don't know if it's the location. Nostalgia for something closer to "home." If it's the trees. Or if it's the floorplan, the spacious kitchen, the yard. I don't know if it stems from some dissatisfaction and longing that has nothing to do with wanting to really move, perhaps. Maybe it's just I'm sick of myself. Not so much being here, but just being. Maybe it's a fresh start I long for. Maybe it's just wanting something different. Or maybe it's more than that. I don't know.
Anyway, I know it will pass. It always does.
(but then it always seems to come back around again, doesn't it?)
what do you do with your desires for something you know you can't have?
(ps - perhaps the worst part of it, is that I could have it - it is not financially out of reach, anyway. It's just that it's not going to happen. so. yeah.)