Tuesday, November 9, 2010


How do you find time for yourself while meeting the needs of 4 kids? (from my friend Mr. Sessions)

Brutally Honest Answer:

um, I don't.

I am terrible, terrible, terrible at finding balance in my life. For years, it seemed, my life was absolutely consumed with meeting the insatiable needs of my little kids. Nursing on demand, waking up at all hrs of the night, diapers, messes, playing, etc etc etc etc. It seemed to be never ending.

And then somewhere along the line I realized I really needed something for myself. I felt like I had lost so many parts of who I used to think I was. I needed something. Anything. I needed to reclaim at least a piece (I know, I know, I was a long time coming in that realization). And then I rediscovered some things I really love: writing and reading, in particular.

And now I play constant tug of war with doing enough things of "mine" to keep myself sane, and doing everything else for everyone else (whatever that might mean). I usually find there is not enough of me to go around. I can never do enough for anyone (even for myself). I am always lacking. Always. Always struggling. Always slipping too far in one direction or another. It's frustrating. I don't know how to fix it. And I feel like a failure pretty much most of the time (on both ends of the spectrum).

I also know I am often too hard on myself. hahaha. (Just add that one to my list of shortcomings.) ;)

(The remaining questions are some toughies, guys. Bear with me.)


Mr. Sessions said...


Thanks for answering. With 4 of my own now, I find I fall very far on the doing everything for everyone and not doing nearly enough for myself. I sneak in a book now and then and I write a weekly email to my family, and like you I enjoy reading and writing, but I fail on the whole balance issue too. You are not alone.


Jennifer Pelo Rawlings said...

Even though all my kids are in school I still find that my days are full of others. I still feel the guilt of taking time for myself when I could be doing something else. I try to always fit in the essentials though, scriptures, prayer, exercise. Those things at least keep me sane even on those days when I don't get a bath, read, TV, nap, lunch out. Good luck. I definitely have more say over my time now, and I am loving it. You are almost there.

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